From 959634e3ba53b9af9b4c165a97ed3a0e20ef0d8f Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Norgus Date: Tue, 8 Dec 2015 17:09:34 +0000 Subject: [PATCH 1/9] English fix sounded a bit like Yoda --- Update/onik_013.txt | 2 +- 1 file changed, 1 insertion(+), 1 deletion(-) diff --git a/Update/onik_013.txt b/Update/onik_013.txt index de151c6..29cddba 100644 --- a/Update/onik_013.txt +++ b/Update/onik_013.txt @@ -2333,7 +2333,7 @@ void main() //　ちゃんと食べたからこの様子なんだよ…＠言葉が喉のそこまで出掛かった￥ OutputLine(NULL, "　ちゃんと食べたからこの様子なんだよ…。", - NULL, "Because I ate them, I'm like this...", Line_WaitForInput); + NULL, "I'm like this because I ate them...", Line_WaitForInput); OutputLine(NULL, "言葉が喉のそこまで出掛かった。", NULL, " Those words were itching to be blurted out.", Line_Normal); ClearMessage(); From fb07cfe1053e3b26ac38a7191e64688097c5d817 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Norgus Date: Tue, 8 Dec 2015 17:11:28 +0000 Subject: [PATCH 2/9] translation fix --- Update/onik_013.txt | 2 +- 1 file changed, 1 insertion(+), 1 deletion(-) diff --git a/Update/onik_013.txt b/Update/onik_013.txt index 29cddba..a96d685 100644 --- a/Update/onik_013.txt +++ b/Update/onik_013.txt @@ -2367,7 +2367,7 @@ void main() //「圭一くん、宿題忘れなんだって＠あはははは。＠ PlaySE(3, "s01/02/120200191", 256, 64); OutputLine(NULL, "「圭一くん、宿題忘れなんだって。", - NULL, "\"I can't believe you'd forget your homework, Keiichi-kun.", Line_WaitForInput); + NULL, "\"Keiichi-kun said he forget his homework.", Line_WaitForInput); PlaySE(3, "s01/02/120200192", 256, 64); OutputLine(NULL, "あはははは。」", NULL, " Ahahahaha.\"", Line_WaitForInput); From 5a7fb7c4943a2e29b436129d8cf1a243a1d1b2a4 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Norgus Date: Tue, 8 Dec 2015 17:17:22 +0000 Subject: [PATCH 3/9] double spacing --- Update/onik_013.txt | 2 +- 1 file changed, 1 insertion(+), 1 deletion(-) diff --git a/Update/onik_013.txt b/Update/onik_013.txt index a96d685..b88ec0c 100644 --- a/Update/onik_013.txt +++ b/Update/onik_013.txt @@ -2543,7 +2543,7 @@ void main() //　余計な事まで知ってしまい……消されてしまった…＠ OutputLine(NULL, "　余計な事まで知ってしまい……消されてしまった…？", - NULL, "Did he learn something he shouldn't have... and was erased...?", Line_WaitForInput); + NULL, "Did he learn something he shouldn't have... and was erased...?", Line_WaitForInput); OutputLineAll(NULL, "\n", Line_ContinueAfterTyping); From 1ad932333f97bd126404b7b55c5d3ad9ac575e2b Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Norgus Date: Tue, 8 Dec 2015 17:20:06 +0000 Subject: [PATCH 4/9] nuance fix --- Update/onik_013.txt | 2 +- 1 file changed, 1 insertion(+), 1 deletion(-) diff --git a/Update/onik_013.txt b/Update/onik_013.txt index b88ec0c..dea4f98 100644 --- a/Update/onik_013.txt +++ b/Update/onik_013.txt @@ -2575,7 +2575,7 @@ void main() //　不審な行動・言動をあれだけ目の当たりにしながらも、こうして朝日の中にいると全部ウソなんじゃないかと思えて…＠いや、思い込もうとしてしまう￥ OutputLine(NULL, "　不審な行動・言動をあれだけ目の当たりにしながらも、こうして朝日の中にいると全部ウソなんじゃないかと思えて……", - NULL, "With all of their suspicious behavior, a morning like this just made it all seem like an elaborate hoax.", Line_WaitForInput); + NULL, "Even having witnessed all of their suspicious behavior, a morning like this just made it all seem like an elaborate hoax.", Line_WaitForInput); OutputLine(NULL, "いや、思い込もうとしてしまう。", NULL, " No, that's just what I want to believe.", Line_Normal); ClearMessage(); From 1b85711c3b83e82756d9a8a72cd344703434decd Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Norgus Date: Tue, 8 Dec 2015 17:23:13 +0000 Subject: [PATCH 5/9] wording to me it feels unnatural for internal monologue to be saying "you know?" --- Update/onik_013.txt | 2 +- 1 file changed, 1 insertion(+), 1 deletion(-) diff --git a/Update/onik_013.txt b/Update/onik_013.txt index dea4f98..7c1ef84 100644 --- a/Update/onik_013.txt +++ b/Update/onik_013.txt @@ -2667,7 +2667,7 @@ void main() //　そのレナは部屋の前で１時間も聞き耳を立ててたんだぞ？＠ OutputLine(NULL, "　そのレナは部屋の前で１時間も聞き耳を立ててたんだぞ？！", - NULL, "Rena was standing outside our door eavesdropping for a good hour, you know!?", Line_WaitForInput); + NULL, "Rena was standing outside my door eavesdropping for a solid hour!?", Line_WaitForInput); OutputLineAll(NULL, "\n\n", Line_ContinueAfterTyping); From bcf140b09afa78e65e993d3d05aa4b9e4a4a5d51 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Norgus Date: Tue, 8 Dec 2015 17:32:24 +0000 Subject: [PATCH 6/9] translation fix --- Update/onik_013.txt | 2 +- 1 file changed, 1 insertion(+), 1 deletion(-) diff --git a/Update/onik_013.txt b/Update/onik_013.txt index 7c1ef84..5ea983a 100644 --- a/Update/onik_013.txt +++ b/Update/onik_013.txt @@ -3202,7 +3202,7 @@ void main() //　自分という人格が体ごと引き裂かれてしまうような…そんな感覚だった＠ OutputLine(NULL, "　自分という人格が体ごと引き裂かれてしまうような…そんな感覚だった。", - NULL, "It felt like my consciousness was being ripped out of my body.", Line_WaitForInput); + NULL, "It felt like my personality was being ripped in two, along with my body.", Line_WaitForInput); OutputLineAll(NULL, "\n", Line_ContinueAfterTyping); From 4cb391570ebb5b5006f6021b63a0057f9fd59645 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Norgus Date: Tue, 8 Dec 2015 17:39:20 +0000 Subject: [PATCH 7/9] translation fix This is a line which helps explain Keiichi's elevated panic when his parent's are out. --- Update/onik_013.txt | 2 +- 1 file changed, 1 insertion(+), 1 deletion(-) diff --git a/Update/onik_013.txt b/Update/onik_013.txt index 5ea983a..722994e 100644 --- a/Update/onik_013.txt +++ b/Update/onik_013.txt @@ -3499,7 +3499,7 @@ void main() //　そんな両親がこの家にいる限り、この家はヤツらからの安全地帯になるというわけだ￥ OutputLine(NULL, "　そんな両親がこの家にいる限り、この家はヤツらからの安全地帯になるというわけだ。", - NULL, "As long as my parents were here, this house would be a safe haven for them.", Line_Normal); + NULL, "Which means that this house would be a safe haven as long as my parents were in.", Line_Normal); ClearMessage(); //　……詭弁の上に詭弁を塗り固めた憶測なのはわかっている＠ From 3e4de41c95c068e59235a2aa31dbfb3ce26eb3b4 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Norgus Date: Tue, 8 Dec 2015 18:04:50 +0000 Subject: [PATCH 8/9] translation fix & matching to audio --- Update/onik_tips_18.txt | 10 +++++----- 1 file changed, 5 insertions(+), 5 deletions(-) diff --git a/Update/onik_tips_18.txt b/Update/onik_tips_18.txt index 91bcb03..d207b8a 100644 --- a/Update/onik_tips_18.txt +++ b/Update/onik_tips_18.txt @@ -34,8 +34,8 @@ PlaySE(3, "s20/03/440300032", 256, 64); OutputLine(NULL, "「さぁてどうしたんだろうね。", NULL, "\"I wonder.", Line_WaitForInput); - OutputLine(NULL, "生理でも来てんじゃないのー？」", - NULL, " Maybe he's on his period.\"", Line_WaitForInput); + OutputLine(NULL, "恋の病にでもかかってるんじゃないのー？」", + NULL, " Maybe he's got a crush on someone?\"", Line_WaitForInput); OutputLineAll(NULL, "\n", Line_ContinueAfterTyping); @@ -44,8 +44,8 @@ //「みみ、魅ぃちゃんそれ下品...！＠ PlaySE(3, "s20/02/440200043", 256, 64); - OutputLine(NULL, "「みみ、魅ぃちゃんそれ下品…！」", - NULL, "\"M-M-Mii-chan, that's gross...!\"", Line_WaitForInput); + OutputLine(NULL, "「み、魅ぃちゃんそれ飛躍しすぎ…！」", + NULL, "\"M-M-Mii-chan, that's a logic leap...!\"", Line_WaitForInput); OutputLineAll(NULL, "\n", Line_ContinueAfterTyping); @@ -193,7 +193,7 @@ //「.........そう言えば、悟史くんが転校する前にもいたね。＠ PlaySE(3, "s20/02/440200051", 256, 64); OutputLine(NULL, "「………そう言えば、悟史くんが転校する前にもいたね。」", - NULL, "\"...Now that you mention it, it happened before Satoshi-kun transferred out.\"", Line_WaitForInput); + NULL, "\"...Now that you mention it, he was around before Satoshi-kun transferred out, too.\"", Line_WaitForInput); OutputLineAll(NULL, "\n", Line_ContinueAfterTyping); From 784a0d99dc46c436b956f15049d9f4110104b273 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Norgus Date: Tue, 8 Dec 2015 18:21:54 +0000 Subject: [PATCH 9/9] text flow/timing --- Update/onik_tips_18.txt | 45 ++++++++++++++++++++++------------------- 1 file changed, 24 insertions(+), 21 deletions(-) diff --git a/Update/onik_tips_18.txt b/Update/onik_tips_18.txt index d207b8a..6d6d1dd 100644 --- a/Update/onik_tips_18.txt +++ b/Update/onik_tips_18.txt @@ -21,7 +21,8 @@ //「最近、圭一くんの元気がないね＠機嫌が悪いのかな。＠ PlaySE(3, "s20/02/440200042", 256, 64); OutputLine(NULL, "「最近、圭一くんの元気がないね。", - NULL, "\"Keiichi-kun's been feeling down lately.", Line_WaitForInput); + NULL, "\"Keiichi-kun's been feeling down lately.", Line_ContinueAfterTyping); + Wait (2800); OutputLine(NULL, "機嫌が悪いのかな。」", NULL, " Maybe he's in a bad mood.\"", Line_WaitForInput); OutputLineAll(NULL, "\n", Line_ContinueAfterTyping); @@ -33,7 +34,8 @@ //「さぁてどうしたんだろうね＠生理でも来てんじゃないのー？＠ PlaySE(3, "s20/03/440300032", 256, 64); OutputLine(NULL, "「さぁてどうしたんだろうね。", - NULL, "\"I wonder.", Line_WaitForInput); + NULL, "\"I wonder.", Line_ContinueAfterTyping); + Wait (2400); OutputLine(NULL, "恋の病にでもかかってるんじゃないのー？」", NULL, " Maybe he's got a crush on someone?\"", Line_WaitForInput); OutputLineAll(NULL, "\n", Line_ContinueAfterTyping); @@ -87,13 +89,13 @@ //「圭ちゃん、ひょっとして...＠.........かな？＠ PlaySE(3, "s20/03/440300035", 256, 64); OutputLine(NULL, "「圭ちゃん、ひょっとして…。", - NULL, "\"Could be that Kei-chan...", Line_WaitForInput); + NULL, "\"Could be that Kei-chan...", Line_ContinueAfterTyping); + Wait (2000); OutputLine(NULL, "………かな？」", NULL, " Maybe...?\"", Line_WaitForInput); OutputLineAll(NULL, "\n", Line_ContinueAfterTyping); - //「......わかんない。￥ PlaySE(3, "s20/02/440200046", 256, 64); OutputLine(NULL, "「……わかんない。」", @@ -107,17 +109,16 @@ OutputLineAll(NULL, "\n", Line_ContinueAfterTyping); - //「うん＠間違いない。＠ PlaySE(3, "s20/02/440200047", 256, 64); OutputLine(NULL, "「うん。", - NULL, "\"Yeah.", Line_WaitForInput); + NULL, "\"Yeah.", Line_ContinueAfterTyping); + Wait (800); OutputLine(NULL, "間違いない。」", NULL, " No mistake.\"", Line_WaitForInput); OutputLineAll(NULL, "\n", Line_ContinueAfterTyping); - //「大石のヤツ、圭ちゃんに何を吹き込んでるのかなぁ...。＠ PlaySE(3, "s20/03/440300037", 256, 64); OutputLine(NULL, "「大石のヤツ、圭ちゃんに何を吹き込んでるのかなぁ…。」", @@ -125,11 +126,11 @@ OutputLineAll(NULL, "\n", Line_ContinueAfterTyping); - //「真剣そうだったよ＠圭一くんは顔面蒼白だった。￥ PlaySE(3, "s20/02/440200048", 256, 64); OutputLine(NULL, "「真剣そうだったよ。", - NULL, "\"He was so serious.", Line_WaitForInput); + NULL, "\"He looked serious.", Line_ContinueAfterTyping); + Wait (1600); OutputLine(NULL, "圭一くんは顔面蒼白だった。」", NULL, " Keiichi-kun's face was so pale.\"", Line_Normal); ClearMessage(); @@ -137,7 +138,8 @@ //「.........あのねぇ＠レナはよく知らないだろうけど＠/ PlaySE(3, "s20/03/440300038", 256, 64); OutputLine(NULL, "「………あのねぇ、", - NULL, "\"You see...", Line_WaitForInput); + NULL, "\"You see...", Line_ContinueAfterTyping); + Wait (1400); OutputLine(NULL, "レナはよく知らないだろうけど、", NULL, " You might not know this...", Line_WaitForInput); @@ -151,31 +153,31 @@ OutputLineAll(NULL, "\n", Line_ContinueAfterTyping); - //「え＠　何の話？＠ PlaySE(3, "s20/02/440200049", 256, 64); OutputLine(NULL, "「え？", - NULL, "\"Huh?", Line_WaitForInput); + NULL, "\"Huh?", Line_ContinueAfterTyping); + Wait (800); OutputLine(NULL, "　何の話？」", NULL, " What do you mean?\"", Line_WaitForInput); OutputLineAll(NULL, "\n", Line_ContinueAfterTyping); - //「あいつが現れるとね、...必ず鬼隠しが起こるの＠......本当だよ。＠ PlaySE(3, "s20/03/440300040", 256, 64); OutputLine(NULL, "「あいつが現れるとね、…必ず鬼隠しが起こるの。", - NULL, "\"Whenever he shows up... someone is demoned away.", Line_WaitForInput); + NULL, "\"Whenever he shows up... someone is demoned away.", Line_ContinueAfterTyping); + Wait (5800); OutputLine(NULL, "……本当だよ。」", NULL, " No lie...\"", Line_WaitForInput); OutputLineAll(NULL, "\n", Line_ContinueAfterTyping); - //「............あれ＠　そうなの？￥ PlaySE(3, "s20/02/440200050", 256, 64); OutputLine(NULL, "「…………あれ？", - NULL, "\"...Oh?", Line_WaitForInput); + NULL, "\"...Oh?", Line_ContinueAfterTyping); + Wait (1000); OutputLine(NULL, "　そうなの？」", NULL, " Is that so?\"", Line_Normal); ClearMessage(); @@ -183,13 +185,13 @@ //「......一昨年、梨花ちゃんのお母さんが入水したでしょ＠　その直前に大石が尋問してたんだよ。＠ PlaySE(3, "s20/03/440300041", 256, 64); OutputLine(NULL, "「……一昨年、梨花ちゃんのお母さんが入水したでしょ？", - NULL, "\"...The year before last, when Rika-chan's mom drowned, right?", Line_WaitForInput); + NULL, "\"...The year before last, when Rika-chan's mom drowned, right?", Line_ContinueAfterTyping); + Wait (3000); OutputLine(NULL, "　その直前に大石が尋問してたんだよ。」", NULL, " Right before that, she was visited by Ooishi.\"", Line_WaitForInput); OutputLineAll(NULL, "\n", Line_ContinueAfterTyping); - //「.........そう言えば、悟史くんが転校する前にもいたね。＠ PlaySE(3, "s20/02/440200051", 256, 64); OutputLine(NULL, "「………そう言えば、悟史くんが転校する前にもいたね。」", @@ -197,11 +199,11 @@ OutputLineAll(NULL, "\n", Line_ContinueAfterTyping); - //「転校～＠　あはははははは、レナはいいヤツだよなぁ。￥ PlaySE(3, "s20/03/440300042", 256, 64); OutputLine(NULL, "「転校〜？", - NULL, "\"Transferred~?", Line_WaitForInput); + NULL, "\"Transferred~?", Line_ContinueAfterTyping); + Wait (1600); OutputLine(NULL, "　あはははははは、レナはいいヤツだよなぁ。」", NULL, " Ahahahahahaha, you're so sweet, Rena.\"", Line_Normal); ClearMessage(); @@ -209,7 +211,8 @@ //「で、今度は圭一くんの前に現れたんだ＠......じゃあ圭一くんも鬼隠しになっちゃう？＠ PlaySE(3, "s20/02/440200052", 256, 64); OutputLine(NULL, "「で、今度は圭一くんの前に現れたんだ。", - NULL, "\"So this time he's appeared before Keiichi-kun...", Line_WaitForInput); + NULL, "\"So this time he's appeared before Keiichi-kun...", Line_ContinueAfterTyping); + Wait (3800); OutputLine(NULL, "……じゃあ圭一くんも鬼隠しになっちゃう？」", NULL, " So Keiichi-kun is going to be demoned away too?\"", Line_WaitForInput); OutputLineAll(NULL, "\n\n", Line_ContinueAfterTyping);