From 624c3ff4d887d2d71adc2707df5a14b9e94b4910 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Norgus Date: Wed, 25 Nov 2015 19:15:24 +0000 Subject: [PATCH 1/7] translation / nuance changes --- Update/onik_009.txt | 4 ++-- 1 file changed, 2 insertions(+), 2 deletions(-) diff --git a/Update/onik_009.txt b/Update/onik_009.txt index 2e05d8a..268524a 100644 --- a/Update/onik_009.txt +++ b/Update/onik_009.txt @@ -6018,7 +6018,7 @@ void main() //「あれはね。人間に代って冬の病魔を吸い取ってくれたお布団を清めてるの。＠ PlaySE(3, "s19/02/500200900", 256, 64); OutputLine(NULL, "「あれはね。人間に代って冬の病魔を吸い取ってくれたお布団を清めてるの。」", - NULL, "\"She's purifying futons that absorbed illnesses from people over the winter.\"", Line_WaitForInput); + NULL, "\"She's purifying the futons, which sacrificially absorbed winter's illnesses for those using them.\"", Line_WaitForInput); OutputLineAll(NULL, "\n", Line_ContinueAfterTyping); @@ -6395,7 +6395,7 @@ void main() //　雛見沢中の病魔を吸い取り、綿の花が次々と水面に咲き、そして流れに消えて行った￥ OutputLine(NULL, "　雛見沢中の病魔を吸い取り、綿の花が次々と水面に咲き、そして流れに消えて行った。", - NULL, "The flowers of cotton blooming in the water had sucked out all the evil festering in Hinamizawa and drifted off, disappearing into the distance.", Line_Normal); + NULL, "The flowers of cotton blooming in the water had sucked out all the bad illnesses from Hinamizawa and drifted off, disappearing into the distance.", Line_Normal); ClearMessage(); From 28c54e6e4e8d40056ccb145499da91084078c791 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Norgus Date: Wed, 25 Nov 2015 19:26:18 +0000 Subject: [PATCH 2/7] small fixes & consistency the Rika-chan quote should be "fought", to use the same phrasing as in day 3. --- Update/onik_009_02.txt | 6 +++--- 1 file changed, 3 insertions(+), 3 deletions(-) diff --git a/Update/onik_009_02.txt b/Update/onik_009_02.txt index 8a1edf0..fe23ade 100644 --- a/Update/onik_009_02.txt +++ b/Update/onik_009_02.txt @@ -322,7 +322,7 @@ void main() NULL, "\"The decision to start the dam project was finalized seven or eight years ago.", Line_WaitForInput); PlaySE(3, "s01/08/120800012", 256, 64); OutputLine(NULL, "黒部に次ぐ巨大な計画だったと聞いてるね。」", - NULL, " I heard it was the next major project after Kurobe.\"", Line_Normal); + NULL, " I heard it was the next largest project after the one in Kurobe.\"", Line_Normal); ClearMessage(); DisableWindow(); @@ -365,7 +365,7 @@ void main() NULL, "\"The dam reservoir would have covered quite a lot of ground when it was completed.", Line_WaitForInput); PlaySE(3, "s01/08/120800014", 256, 64); OutputLine(NULL, "この雛見沢からずーっと上流の谷河内（やごうち）辺りまでが全部沈むことになったらしい。」", - NULL, " The entire area, right up to Yagouichi way upstream, would be underwater.\"", Line_WaitForInput); + NULL, " The entire area, right up to Yagouchi way upstream, would be underwater.\"", Line_WaitForInput); OutputLineAll(NULL, "\n", Line_ContinueAfterTyping); @@ -394,7 +394,7 @@ void main() //　以前、梨花ちゃんが「戦った」と表現したが、それからも激しいものだったことが伺える￥ OutputLine(NULL, "　以前、梨花ちゃんが「戦った」と表現したが、それからも激しいものだったことが伺える。", - NULL, "Rika-chan had said there was a 'battle.' From that choice of words I had to guess things had turned violent.", Line_Normal); + NULL, "Rika-chan had said that they had 'fought.' From that choice of words I had to guess things had turned violent.", Line_Normal); ClearMessage(); //「裁判にもなったし議会でも取り上げられたんだ＠東京の新聞にも載ったよ。＠ From dcb1dee077fb9fe78ab631431d4397edb96c6c4c Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Norgus Date: Wed, 25 Nov 2015 19:36:29 +0000 Subject: [PATCH 3/7] translation fix got the relationship sort of wrong (the housewife was the wife of the younger brother) --- Update/onik_009_02.txt | 4 ++-- 1 file changed, 2 insertions(+), 2 deletions(-) diff --git a/Update/onik_009_02.txt b/Update/onik_009_02.txt index fe23ade..9142b65 100644 --- a/Update/onik_009_02.txt +++ b/Update/onik_009_02.txt @@ -852,14 +852,14 @@ void main() //「被害者の一家はね、!w800…その２年前に転落死したダム誘致派の男の弟一家に当たるのよ。＠ PlaySE(3, "s01/09/120900013", 256, 64); OutputLine(NULL, "「被害者の一家はね、", - NULL, "\"One of the victim's relatives, you see...", Line_ContinueAfterTyping); + NULL, "\"The victim's family, you see...", Line_ContinueAfterTyping); SetValidityOfInput( FALSE ); Wait( 800 ); SetValidityOfInput( TRUE ); OutputLine(NULL, "…その２年前に転落死したダム誘致派の男の弟一家に当たるのよ。」", - NULL, " was connected to the younger brother of the dam supporter who fell to his death two years before.\"", Line_WaitForInput); + NULL, " happened to be that of the younger brother of the dam supporter who fell to his death two years before.\"", Line_WaitForInput); OutputLineAll(NULL, "\n", Line_ContinueAfterTyping); From 7cd4126078aa22e135bdbfb59c8d08dc79118164 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Norgus Date: Wed, 25 Nov 2015 19:59:55 +0000 Subject: [PATCH 4/7] translation fix keeping closer to original text --- Update/onik_009_02.txt | 2 +- 1 file changed, 1 insertion(+), 1 deletion(-) diff --git a/Update/onik_009_02.txt b/Update/onik_009_02.txt index 9142b65..274defc 100644 --- a/Update/onik_009_02.txt +++ b/Update/onik_009_02.txt @@ -1278,7 +1278,7 @@ void main() NULL, "\"Also, the police are treating each case as isolated; they don't believe they're connected.", Line_WaitForInput); PlaySE(3, "s01/08/120800052", 256, 64); OutputLine(NULL, "……警備ってことで私服警官をだいぶ立たせてたみたいだよ。」", - NULL, " ...They're trying to keep it quiet, so it's all plainclothes officers.\"", Line_Normal); + NULL, " ...But apparently they sent quite a few plainclothes officers for security.\"", Line_Normal); ClearMessage(); From 19ed625d289ab6299cbfb5921c1ac5c444ad17f8 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Norgus Date: Wed, 25 Nov 2015 20:04:31 +0000 Subject: [PATCH 5/7] translation fix closer to the nuance of what he's traying to say --- Update/onik_009_02.txt | 2 +- 1 file changed, 1 insertion(+), 1 deletion(-) diff --git a/Update/onik_009_02.txt b/Update/onik_009_02.txt index 274defc..ec3ec46 100644 --- a/Update/onik_009_02.txt +++ b/Update/onik_009_02.txt @@ -1393,7 +1393,7 @@ void main() //「全ての事件が原因不明で犯人も手口もナゾ、っていうなら僕も祟りを疑ってもいいよ＠ PlaySE(3, "s01/08/120800054", 256, 64); OutputLine(NULL, "「全ての事件が原因不明で犯人も手口もナゾ、っていうなら僕も祟りを疑ってもいいよ。", - NULL, "\"If the causes of all of the crimes were unknown, with the perpetrators and their methods all mysteries, then I would think it's the work of a curse.", Line_WaitForInput); + NULL, "\"If the causes of all of the crimes were unknown, with the perpetrators and their methods all mysteries, then I'd concede the possibility of a curse.", Line_WaitForInput); OutputLineAll(NULL, "\n", Line_ContinueAfterTyping); From d074f23a105097bebf5915d165241f13f3a3a16a Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Norgus Date: Wed, 25 Nov 2015 20:09:49 +0000 Subject: [PATCH 6/7] translation fix I think this mistake was made because of tricky tense interpretation in Japanese. Have gone with a translation much closer to the original text. --- Update/onik_009_02.txt | 2 +- 1 file changed, 1 insertion(+), 1 deletion(-) diff --git a/Update/onik_009_02.txt b/Update/onik_009_02.txt index ec3ec46..915cc5c 100644 --- a/Update/onik_009_02.txt +++ b/Update/onik_009_02.txt @@ -1404,7 +1404,7 @@ void main() NULL, "But that's not how things are in reality.", Line_WaitForInput); PlaySE(3, "s01/08/120800056", 256, 64); OutputLine(NULL, "どの事件もちゃんと警察が捜査して真相や犯人を究明してる。」", - NULL, " The police are investigating the evidence and suspects to uncover the truth.\"", Line_Normal); + NULL, " Police investigations have already uncovered the truth and perpetrators for all of the cases.\"", Line_Normal); ClearMessage(); From 932449083ab7703dc8353ce6e0e04e1989f6acf6 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Norgus Date: Wed, 25 Nov 2015 20:13:57 +0000 Subject: [PATCH 7/7] translation fix MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=UTF-8 Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit the voicing also removed that awkward sounding 男の part from the script --- Update/onik_009_02.txt | 4 ++-- 1 file changed, 2 insertions(+), 2 deletions(-) diff --git a/Update/onik_009_02.txt b/Update/onik_009_02.txt index 915cc5c..5cd687b 100644 --- a/Update/onik_009_02.txt +++ b/Update/onik_009_02.txt @@ -1456,8 +1456,8 @@ void main() //「次の、誘致派の男の夫婦の事故死だってそうさ＠恨みを買う立場だったからね、警察が特に入念に捜査したと思うよ＠それで発表は事故＠他殺じゃない。＠ PlaySE(3, "s01/08/120800064", 256, 64); - OutputLine(NULL, "「次の、誘致派の男の夫婦の事故死だってそうさ。", - NULL, "\"The accidental death of the man who supported the dam is the same.", Line_WaitForInput); + OutputLine(NULL, "「次の、誘致派の夫婦の事故死だってそうさ。", + NULL, "\"The accidental deaths of the couple who supported the dam is the same.", Line_WaitForInput); PlaySE(3, "s01/08/120800065", 256, 64); OutputLine(NULL, "恨みを買う立場だったからね、警察が特に入念に捜査したと思うよ。", NULL, " He was in a position that made others hate him. The police made a point of investigating from that angle.", Line_WaitForInput);