From c6b47d98ee080c8f4b0ee7f2e20053d41aebd9e1 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Norgus Date: Mon, 7 Dec 2015 18:06:49 +0000 Subject: [PATCH 01/10] translation fix he really isn't saying that he's well enough to go (and it causes cognitive dissonance to have Keiichi say this right after saying that he feels feverish) --- Update/onik_013.txt | 4 ++-- 1 file changed, 2 insertions(+), 2 deletions(-) diff --git a/Update/onik_013.txt b/Update/onik_013.txt index 24c6760..0eaf6f3 100644 --- a/Update/onik_013.txt +++ b/Update/onik_013.txt @@ -199,14 +199,14 @@ void main() //　……とても学校に行けるような体調、!w1000…いや、精神状態ではなかった＠ OutputLine(NULL, "　……とても学校に行けるような体調、", - NULL, "...I was well enough to go...", Line_ContinueAfterTyping); + NULL, "...I felt far from well enough...", Line_ContinueAfterTyping); SetValidityOfInput( FALSE ); Wait( 1000 ); SetValidityOfInput( TRUE ); OutputLine(NULL, "…いや、精神状態ではなかった。", - NULL, " but I wasn't mentally prepared for it.", Line_WaitForInput); + NULL, " no, I wasn't mentally fit to go.", Line_WaitForInput); OutputLineAll(NULL, "\n", Line_ContinueAfterTyping); From 826f5e393d3c2ab943275946eadf71a41b6f6062 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Norgus Date: Mon, 7 Dec 2015 19:05:54 +0000 Subject: [PATCH 02/10] Fixed translation Keiichi thinks that the girls (and Hinamizawa in general) don't want him speaking out or allowing any undesirable outsiders (like Ooishi) that something might be out of the ordinary. --- Update/onik_013.txt | 4 ++-- 1 file changed, 2 insertions(+), 2 deletions(-) diff --git a/Update/onik_013.txt b/Update/onik_013.txt index 0eaf6f3..0684d56 100644 --- a/Update/onik_013.txt +++ b/Update/onik_013.txt @@ -430,14 +430,14 @@ void main() //　そんな俺の様子に……例えば大石さんのような人間に「何かの異変」を気取られかねない、ということなのだろう￥ OutputLine(NULL, "　そんな俺の様子に……例えば大石さんのような人間に「何かの異変」を気取られかねない、ということなのだろう。", - NULL, "For example, maybe... I shouldn't pay attention to someone like Ooishi-san enticing me with \"something unusual.\"", Line_Normal); + NULL, "If I acted differently, someone like Ooishi-san, for example, might end up noticing that \"something is up.\"", Line_Normal); ClearMessage(); //　つまり、…俺自身が口を閉ざしていようと、いつもと違う振る舞いをすれば＠それは結果的に「好まざる者」たちに何かを伝えてしまう結果となるわけだ…＠ OutputLine(NULL, "　つまり、…俺自身が口を閉ざしていようと、いつもと違う振る舞いをすれば、", NULL, "Meaning... if I didn't watch my mouth or did anything differently from the norm,", Line_WaitForInput); OutputLine(NULL, "それは結果的に「好まざる者」たちに何かを伝えてしまう結果となるわけだ…。", - NULL, " in effect, it would end up flagging myself as someone who was \"not wanted\"...", Line_WaitForInput); + NULL, " in effect, it would end up communicating something to those who were \"undesirable\"...", Line_WaitForInput); OutputLineAll(NULL, "\n\n", Line_ContinueAfterTyping); From d0023a5ff6aee75502038145053d671f1a0623a3 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Norgus Date: Mon, 7 Dec 2015 19:21:20 +0000 Subject: [PATCH 03/10] translation fix MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=UTF-8 Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit 撲殺 is the fatal beatings (of the housewife) case, not the lynching --- Update/onik_013.txt | 2 +- 1 file changed, 1 insertion(+), 1 deletion(-) diff --git a/Update/onik_013.txt b/Update/onik_013.txt index 0684d56..5ff7af3 100644 --- a/Update/onik_013.txt +++ b/Update/onik_013.txt @@ -746,7 +746,7 @@ void main() OutputLine(NULL, "その後毎年起こる怪死事件も忘れる。", NULL, " Forget about the mysterious deaths that happened the following years.", Line_WaitForInput); OutputLine(NULL, "…転落事故も、病死も自殺も、撲殺も失踪も、全部全部忘れる。", - NULL, " ...Forget about the people falling to their death... and the terminal illness and suicide... and the lynching... and the disappearances. Forget it. Forget all of it.", Line_WaitForInput); + NULL, " ...Forget about the people falling to their death... and the terminal illness and suicide... the fatal beatings... and the disappearances. Forget it. Forget all of it.", Line_WaitForInput); OutputLineAll(NULL, "\n\n", Line_ContinueAfterTyping); From 2e195d17bff9b0c4b48e8f7f8608431630c61c5d Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Norgus Date: Mon, 7 Dec 2015 19:22:30 +0000 Subject: [PATCH 04/10] translation fix MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=UTF-8 Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit みんな can be "everyone" OR "everything", and this is clearly the latter case. --- Update/onik_013.txt | 2 +- 1 file changed, 1 insertion(+), 1 deletion(-) diff --git a/Update/onik_013.txt b/Update/onik_013.txt index 5ff7af3..0a3cb7e 100644 --- a/Update/onik_013.txt +++ b/Update/onik_013.txt @@ -754,7 +754,7 @@ void main() OutputLine(NULL, "　レナが怖いのも、魅音が怖いのももちろん忘れる。", NULL, "Forget that Rena and Mion were scary. Of course, forget it all.", Line_WaitForInput); OutputLine(NULL, "みんな忘れる。", - NULL, " Forget about everyone.", Line_WaitForInput); + NULL, " Forget about all of it.", Line_WaitForInput); OutputLine(NULL, "おはぎのことも全部忘れる。", NULL, " Forget about the mochi, too.", Line_WaitForInput); OutputLine(NULL, "忘れる忘れる忘れる。", From f070b4375441f9adb689d03ebbd55d2a2a3d0dad Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Norgus Date: Mon, 7 Dec 2015 19:27:34 +0000 Subject: [PATCH 05/10] translation fix given the context, and, well, the sentence, this was interpreted rather wrongly. --- Update/onik_013.txt | 2 +- 1 file changed, 1 insertion(+), 1 deletion(-) diff --git a/Update/onik_013.txt b/Update/onik_013.txt index 0a3cb7e..a856d5b 100644 --- a/Update/onik_013.txt +++ b/Update/onik_013.txt @@ -908,7 +908,7 @@ void main() //　ご近所さんに笑顔に挨拶したあと、俺に振り返りぺろりと舌を出してみせた￥ OutputLine(NULL, "　ご近所さんに笑顔に挨拶したあと、俺に振り返りぺろりと舌を出してみせた。", - NULL, "As we smiled and parted ways with our neighbor, they turned back towards me and stuck out a tongue.", Line_Normal); + NULL, "After greeting our neighbor with a smile, Rena turned back to me and poked her tongue out.", Line_Normal); ClearMessage(); //　そんな仕種に思わずつられて、自然に頬が緩んだ気がした＠ From 0ce282150f9a4efdbba25c04e3ab63485e953cda Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Norgus Date: Mon, 7 Dec 2015 19:34:05 +0000 Subject: [PATCH 06/10] wrong sound file It's the same word, but from the wrong scene with the wrong tone for the context. The file name following the previous line seems to be the correct one (not sure why this wouldn't have been selected to start with) --- Update/onik_013.txt | 2 +- 1 file changed, 1 insertion(+), 1 deletion(-) diff --git a/Update/onik_013.txt b/Update/onik_013.txt index a856d5b..8afae1a 100644 --- a/Update/onik_013.txt +++ b/Update/onik_013.txt @@ -1115,7 +1115,7 @@ void main() SetSpeedOfMessage( FALSE, 0, ); - PlaySE(3, "s01/02/120200252", 256, 64); + PlaySE(3, "s01/02/120200176", 256, 64); OutputLine(NULL, "圭一くん？」", NULL, " \"Keiichi-kun?\"", Line_WaitForInput); OutputLineAll(NULL, "\n", Line_ContinueAfterTyping); From 4b2628ed31fe813085b1efb443f7b9f441acbb24 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Norgus Date: Mon, 7 Dec 2015 19:40:35 +0000 Subject: [PATCH 07/10] translation fix --- Update/onik_013.txt | 2 +- 1 file changed, 1 insertion(+), 1 deletion(-) diff --git a/Update/onik_013.txt b/Update/onik_013.txt index 8afae1a..2c4e80f 100644 --- a/Update/onik_013.txt +++ b/Update/onik_013.txt @@ -1602,7 +1602,7 @@ void main() //　あるいは職員室に先生を呼びに走ったのだろうか＠ OutputLine(NULL, "　あるいは職員室に先生を呼びに走ったのだろうか？", - NULL, "Or did they run to the staff room after being directed there by the teachers?", Line_WaitForInput); + NULL, "Or did they run to the staff room to call for the teachers?", Line_WaitForInput); OutputLineAll(NULL, "\n\n", Line_ContinueAfterTyping); From 7834a093bcffc2ecbcf2b52009bd677e5ee9bded Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Norgus Date: Mon, 7 Dec 2015 19:45:15 +0000 Subject: [PATCH 08/10] translation fix MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=UTF-8 Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit 暴力的 is used figuratively to describe the "roughness" of a train of thought which would lead to blaming children for being bystanders to Rena's rampage (this is what I have rendered as "cruel") --- Update/onik_013.txt | 2 +- 1 file changed, 1 insertion(+), 1 deletion(-) diff --git a/Update/onik_013.txt b/Update/onik_013.txt index 2c4e80f..311b23b 100644 --- a/Update/onik_013.txt +++ b/Update/onik_013.txt @@ -1632,7 +1632,7 @@ void main() //　…それを見て見ぬふりだと非難するのはあまりに暴力的だ￥ OutputLine(NULL, "　…それを見て見ぬふりだと非難するのはあまりに暴力的だ。", - NULL, "...It was far too violent an act for them to seek refuge by looking the other way.", Line_Normal); + NULL, "...It would be cruel to blame anyone for looking the other way.", Line_Normal); ClearMessage(); //　彼らは見て見ぬふりをしてたんじゃない＠……それが、唯一の護身術だと知っていたからだ￥ From 6b18a0cfa53b55ce992e25c61dc7b08ef81ff6a7 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Norgus Date: Mon, 7 Dec 2015 19:53:26 +0000 Subject: [PATCH 09/10] translation nuance and double spacing fixes --- Update/onik_013.txt | 6 +++--- 1 file changed, 3 insertions(+), 3 deletions(-) diff --git a/Update/onik_013.txt b/Update/onik_013.txt index 311b23b..0154750 100644 --- a/Update/onik_013.txt +++ b/Update/onik_013.txt @@ -1637,9 +1637,9 @@ void main() //　彼らは見て見ぬふりをしてたんじゃない＠……それが、唯一の護身術だと知っていたからだ￥ OutputLine(NULL, "　彼らは見て見ぬふりをしてたんじゃない。", - NULL, "That's not to say they were looking the other way...", Line_WaitForInput); + NULL, "No, they weren't simply looking the other way...", Line_WaitForInput); OutputLine(NULL, "……それが、唯一の護身術だと知っていたからだ。", - NULL, " ...They were doing the only thing they could to protect themselves.", Line_Normal); + NULL, " ...They knew it was the only way they could to protect themselves.", Line_Normal); ClearMessage(); @@ -1878,7 +1878,7 @@ void main() //　その後、レナは謹慎処分となり、病院へ通院して診察を受けた＠ OutputLine(NULL, "　その後、レナは謹慎処分となり、病院へ通院して診察を受けた。", - NULL, "Following that, Rena was suspended and had regular examinations at the hospital.", Line_WaitForInput); + NULL, "Following that, Rena was suspended and had regular examinations at the hospital.", Line_WaitForInput); OutputLineAll(NULL, "\n", Line_ContinueAfterTyping); From b2d6e1db89c8ee753c22d5fe30b1ebbd9b4967b5 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Norgus Date: Mon, 7 Dec 2015 19:57:58 +0000 Subject: [PATCH 10/10] wording --- Update/onik_013.txt | 2 +- 1 file changed, 1 insertion(+), 1 deletion(-) diff --git a/Update/onik_013.txt b/Update/onik_013.txt index 0154750..de151c6 100644 --- a/Update/onik_013.txt +++ b/Update/onik_013.txt @@ -2076,7 +2076,7 @@ void main() //　敵が人間だろうと祟りだろうと＠……俺は殺されない＠ OutputLine(NULL, "　敵が人間だろうと祟りだろうと。", - NULL, "Regardless of my opponent being a human or curse.", Line_WaitForInput); + NULL, "Regardless of whether my opponent were a human or a curse.", Line_WaitForInput); OutputLine(NULL, "……俺は殺されない。", NULL, " ...I won't let it kill me.", Line_WaitForInput); OutputLineAll(NULL, "\n", Line_ContinueAfterTyping);